Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
