I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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