Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
