dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
