Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize