Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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