We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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