he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize