My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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