I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
