Betty ford says i'm here all night
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
