There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
