So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
