As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
