That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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