Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
