I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
