Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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