VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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