Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
