I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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