No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
