I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
