get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Girls should come with a carfax report
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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