North Korea, Best Korea!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize