I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't turn off my feet"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
