Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
