I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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