Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
