Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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