Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
