Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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