my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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