I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
