There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
