That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
