I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
