You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
