If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
