Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
