I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You made out with two different species that night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize