I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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