no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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