you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
