Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
