i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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