I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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