somebody snuck up and got me drunk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
