i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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