happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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