ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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