A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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