Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
