How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
