Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
