Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
