So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Even my vagina gasped.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
