idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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