ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
