i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
