I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
