i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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