Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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