im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
