That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize