Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
