There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i've created a new STD.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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