Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
