I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
