so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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