i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize