I can text with my tongue
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
