I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
