the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
