My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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