my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
