Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
